There is no debate that love is an essential ingredient to happiness. It may not actually “make the world go round” (we are pretty sure that has something to do with… gravity?) but it has been, and continues to be, a point of fascination for authors, poets, researchers, and many more. This is probably due to the fact that it is an essential ingredient to a fulfilling life. In this article we explore some of the latest research into this field and give you the good, the bad, and the really cool news.
The Bad News
Breaking news: love is not eternal. Far be it from us to burst any bubbles, but according to research done by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD (Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology, and author of the book “Love 2.0,”), there is no such thing as “everlasting love,” at least physiologically speaking. This is not to say that love doesn’t create fierce loyalty and deep trust, it just means that our experience of love, the actual feeling of love, isn’t always present. In fact, it is quite fleeting, albeit powerful. This means that in order to “feel” love there needs to be an action that precedes that feeling. It could be an internal thought, but love doesn’t spontaneously occur. It needs to be generated. This may be most apparent in our long term relationships.
Here is PhD Barbara Fredrickson again, confirming this:
“The problem is that all too often, you simply don’t take the time that’s needed to truly connect with others. To the contrary, contemporary society, with it’s fast-changing technology and oppressive workloads, baits you to speed through your day at a pace that’s completely antithetical to connection.”
So, that is the bad news.
The Good News
The good news is that love may be easier to create than we commonly think. Most people associate love with finding that perfect person, “The One” we are destined to be with. Only then can a person truly experience what love is. Although the fantasy of that notion can be appealing, it is also a task that is, in reality, impossible. Think about it, there are 7.6 billion people in the world, if you were to truly find “The One,” wouldn’t you have to meet them all, just to make sure? If you could discover whether a person was “The One” in one day, and you met a new person every day, this feat would take 20 million years!
Thankfully, love, according to Barbara Fredrickson, is actually much more common than we think. Love is an emotion, the most important emotion for both physical and mental health, and she describes it like this:
“Love is the momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events: first, a sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another; second, a synchrony between your and the other person’s biochemistry and behaviours; third, a reflected motive to invest in each other’s well being that brings mutual care. Her shorthand for this trio is positivity resonance.”
Another way she describes it is that, the Love IS connection.
What that means is that the feeling of love is actually quite easy to create. There needs to be some pre-existing conditions, but you can experience love with your partner, simply by taking the time to connect. This doesn’t even have to take a lot of time as love can exist in micro-moments of connection. Of course that is exactly what our App is designed to help with, and you can get notified of its release simply by providing your contact information.
That is the good news!
Something Really Cool
What does this mean for love? It means that when you take the time to feel and express positive sentiments to your partner, your partner’s brain will mirror yours, and they will also experience the life-enhancing effects of those thoughts and emotions. You can literally gift love, simply by experiencing it yourself and connecting with your partner.
We think that is really cool.
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Participate in Challenges — and create a deeper & more meaningful connection with your partner — and be entered to win our quarterly prize (a $2,500 CDN vacation package for 2) and other great prizes!
Earn one prize draw entry every time you complete and save a Celebration Reflection (“Celebrations”) and your Connection Practice Ratings (“Ratings”) in the App. Record your Celebrations and Ratings for 5 consecutive days in one week and you will earn an additional 5 entries. Record them for 7 consecutive days in one week and you will earn yet another 5 entries.
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